Connect Your Worry in Your Heart to the Anxiety in Your Head
Lisa Becerra will walk you through a wonderful spiritual practice where you get to access your worry and anxiety in a novel way that allows you to form a head/heart connection and get a fuller sense of what exactly you are experiencing and give you an opprotunity to bring more of yourself into the dialogue. To go through this practice, you need 2 chairs, 2 post-its, a pen, and about 20 minutes.
You can enhance this practice with adding the inhalation of Cilantro, Hinoki, Red Mandarin, Holy Basil, Vetiver or Ylang Ylang. Simply place 1 drop of one of these essential oils on a cotton ball and place the cotton ball in cupped hands. To begin with, take 3 deep breaths in through your nose like you're smelling a flower, and out through your mouth with an audible sigh. As you take your 3 deep breaths, hold your hands in such a way that you can inhale the aroma of the essential oil. You can keep the cotton ball in your hands, and return to inhaling the aroma at any time during the practice if you intuit that it would be helpful for you.
Close your eyes, and imagine that in front of you is a magazine or a roll-a-Dex titled: Worry and Anxiety. Allow yourself to pick it up and thumb through it. See on the pages or the cards how various worries and anxieties that you've been faced with, challenged with or overcoming recently, or that continue to show up from time to time and weigh you down fill the space with pictures, words, icons and graphics.
You may find that some of these build upon or flow into one another, so as you flip the page or pick up the next card they kind of fall into place or follow an orderly recognizable pattern. Or, you may find that they are a little scattered and jump around from past worries to current worries, anxieties you're dealing with from home and then something from work or school may find itself as the next article or the next business card. You may also find that some of these worries and anxieties show up again, and again like a pesky skip add on YouTube.
However they present themselves, don't judge them or criticize them, or try to change them in any way, simply allow them to show up and continue to fill the pages or cards as you continue to move through them. Give yourself at least 5 minutes spending time getting to know these worries and simply allowing them to show up and let you know they are there.
When you're getting to the end of the roll-a-Dex or the last page of the magazine, allow God to enter your space. He can appear in whichever form or manifestation that you feel comfortable with, and can be as near or as far away from you as you need Him to be for safety. Allow His presence to bring a sense of comfort. Allow this comfort to wash over your body and allow yourself to feel very relaxed (if you need to, inhale a few more breaths of your chosen essential oil).
In this space, re-open your magazine or roll-a-Dex to a random place or spot, and tear off the page, or pull out the card, and open or read what's there for you. What anxiety, what worry does God want you to meditate on today? Don't judge it, dismiss it, or discard it. Whatever message, worry, anxiety that God is placing on that card is what I want you to meditate on today. So simply hold it.
While you're holding it, in your hands take a quick scan of your body and notice where you might have tension or tightening of your muscles or sensations of turning in your stomach or tightness in your chest, the need to fidget with your feet or hands, pain in your neck, or soreness in your back. You don't want to change anything - but simply notice that holding this worry or anxiety is bringing these sensations into your body.
Now, I want you to stand up, open your eyes and observe your two chairs. These two chairs represent 2 aspects of ourselves: our head and our heart. God has gifted us to be physical beings with a spiritual soul, so we are of two minds literally, we have our physical minds that necessitate the taking care of our physical needs, and we have our spiritual mind - our heart that requires us to take care of our spiritual needs.
Often times it's hard to listen to what both of these aspects of ourselves have to say because one is louder than the other, so we're going to create a barrier between our head and our hearts and label these two chairs, one will have the label of "Head" and on the label of "Heart." Once you have them labeled, go ahead and sit in the chair you've labeled "Head."
In this chair, allow yourself to have a dialogue with your head, knowing that God is present and can participate and be part of this conversation to the extent that you require him to and are comfortable with. Allow your head to tell you where this worry and anxiety came from, where is its origin, what memory triggered it, what situation started it, what has escalated it to be something that is a concern for you today. What scenarios are you imagining will happen because of this worry or anxiety? Let this all play out before you, share as much of it as you're comfortable with with our Lord.
Allow Him to speak to you, "My child, I know this is hard to carry, my daughter, I'm so sorry that you share so much concern over this worry and anxiety. My child, know that it worries me too - I am deeply concerned about the outcomes, and I am working all things together for your greatest good. (your name) do you know all the facts? Have you spoken to everyone you need to to get all the information? Are there pieces of this that you don't know yet? Can you wait for me to reveal them? My child, in this moment, you are enough. My child, in this moment, you are enough. My child, in this moment, you are enough." After hearing this for the 3rd time allow yourself to feel an emotional response, and allow that response to play out and run its course.
Allow that response to prompt you to move into the "Heart" chair. Spend some time now telling God about the emotions you feel about this worry and anxiety. Sometimes it's hard to identify what we're feeling - we may be better at identifying what others feel rather than what we are feeling. Our feelings are indicators, they tell us when something's wrong, something needs attention, when there's been an injustice or a deep need that we have isn't being met.
If you identify a feeling of sadness, explore that a little bit more and to grant yourself a deeper perception, are you sorrowful, are you grieving, are you tearful?
If you find yourself saying that you're mad, are you resentful, are you irate, are you rageful, or maybe just frustrated? Who or what are you mad at?
What deeper need are these emotions pointing towards? Who failed to fill them, the meet them? Share this with God, even if it's God's failing. He can take it - He is a big God. Allow Him to see the depth and the breadth of these emotions as you talk with Him. As you're comfortable, allow Him to come nearer to give you compassion - He is not trying to talk you down, to take away or take the edge off of anything you're feeling. He feels it too - He feels your hurt, your sorrow your pain, your frustration, your rage. He knows what your soul is desperately crying for.
If possible, allow Him to comfort you, to wrap His arms around you, or hold your hand, allow His gaze of love to fall upon you and hear Him say, "My child, you don't have to stay in this discomfort, my beloved one, I want to relieve you of this pain."
Allow yourself in some way to acknowledge this and to shift in your chair in a way where you are allowing yourself to receive comfort. You can rest your head on your hand, or allow yourself to recline a little or tuck in your legs.
Hear God say, "My beloved, I see you, I see your struggle, I want to relieve you of this heavy, heavy burden you are carrying. I want to meet your needs." In your response, allow your hands to let go of this worry or anxiety - the page or card you've clutched and allow it to fall into the hands of our Lord. If there's any bit of it that you need to clutch to, and cannot release it completely that's okay. Allow God to show you gratitude for what you have given to Him and allow Him to tell you that He'd ready to take more when you're ready to give it to Him.
"My Beloved One, I will hold this, I will provide for your need." Allow Him to show you the throne of heaven and all that He has created. He is on the throne, He is orchestrating all things together for your good and He is holding you. He is providing for you, He is moving you forward on your healing journey, and He is ready to accompany you further when you are ready for Him to do so.
Allow God to show you His gratitude, and in whatever manner is meaningful and comfortable to you grant Him gratitude. And allow Him to leave you.
Whatever piece of the page, or roll-a-Dex card you're still holding onto, if any, allow yourself to place it back within the magazine or roll-a-de wherever it belongs, knowing that you can access it again whenever you're ready to.
To close, allow yourself to take 3 more cleansing breaths, in through your nose breathing in the calmness and stillness, and exhaling to breath out worry. In through your nose breathing in joy and gratitude, breathing out, and letting go of anxiety. In through your nose breathing in peace, tranquility and the love God freely gives you and breathing out fear, and trepidation.